


I'd Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothing At All

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Anxiety, Depression, Drug Addiction, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, depressed!harry, louis is kind of an asshole, sad!harry, trigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 00:22:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6681985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>H&L are in a relationship but it's nowhere near being healthy. Louis has had a drug problem for a while so it leaves an effect on his personality and actions. So, he ends up getting abusive with Harry till he pushes the lad closer and closer to the edge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothing At All

**Author's Note:**

> PSA!
> 
> For those people out there who need this announcement, NO, Louis is nothing like this. This is practically just a fictional character. So don't think Louis is actually abuse and all. 
> 
> Thanks. :)

Another day, another bruise to add to the collection on Harry's frail body. He had spilled his wine on Louis' new shirt and the man absolutely went ballistic, losing all control of his fists. First he went for Harry's stomach, then his jaw, both of them aching with already bruised skin. You would think that Harry would make this all end but breaking up with Louis but he just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it.

He was supposed to marry Louis, have a future with him - because he loved him. Even after being hit and thrown into the walls of their home he still loved Louis. And sometimes his inner voice tore him apart because he was just so oblivious to the fact that he was in an abusive relationship. Abuse and love have no correlation, whatsoever. Yet he still stayed because Louis had him wrapped around his finger.

As always, everything was perfect in the beginning. There was absolutely no abuse involved and Harry couldn't have been happier back then. But things began to change.

The first time Louis hit Harry was when he came home after smoking pot.

_"Lou? Is that you?" Harry's raspy voice called out as he rubbed at his sleepy eye, his feet carrying him to the foyer of their home where Louis was toeing off his shoes._

_"Move, would ya?" Louis growled and shoved Harry out of the way as he headed off to the kitchen. The fridge door was thrown open and then slammed shut, the lad heading off to the living room with a beer that was most likely not his first for the night._

_"Um.. are you alright?" Harry asked as he quietly walked over to where his boyfriend was. He was either drunk or high, definitely one of the two._

_"Fuck yeah I'm alright. Get off my case. You annoy me sometimes," He responded with a harsh eye roll._

_Ouch. What was up with him? Never had Louis been this.. harsh._

_"Well excuse me for being concerned about my boyfriend!" He shouted, knowing right away he should've kept his mouth closed. It all happened so fast, he spoke up and WHACK, Louis smacked him in the face._

_"Maybe that'll get you to shut up," Louis growled before racing off to leave a teared up Harry standing in complete shock._

Harry remembered that day like it was yesterday. And not once did he ever get an apology for it. All he could think about was, what did I do wrong? It was obviously something because Louis wouldn't have just smacked him for no reason.

So all of this abuse had led him to abuse himself as well. He beat himself up on the inside every time Louis would hurt him. You're such a disgrace, you deserved those bruises, worthless piece of trash. He was just so brain washed.. and he had no one to help him escape this trance. He wouldn't dare tell anyone what Louis does to him. That would easily lead to the lad getting charges for assault. So he was just stuck between pros and cons.

Since the band was on break, they all went off and did their own things while of course Harry and Louis were busy stunting. Management had Louis going out on dates with Danielle and Harry just doing whatever with any girl they chose. Gotta keep up that "womanizer" role.

After a long day stunting with Danielle, Louis came home to him and Harry's flat with his hand fiddling around with his box of cigarettes. He pulled one out and got out his lighter, lighting it up and taking a whiff of it. Smoke scattered out throughout the room and Harry appeared with an annoyed look on his face. They had made a rule stating no smoking in the house but Louis didn't really care. He had complete control over Harry and knew nothing would happen.

"Take it outside, Louis," The curly haired lad said with confidence laced around his tone. He wasn't in the mood to be thrown around like a rag doll.

Louis huffed and took another whiff of the cigarette, blowing it right in Harry's face. "How about no?" He smirked and walked past him.

There was no point in trying. No way in hell was Harry going to get Louis to listen to him. It was a rare occasion for something like that to happen.

"We went over this. No smoking in the house! I don't want to have to smell that shit all night. And, you _know_ I have asthma. It's bad for my health," Harry scolded and was already having troubles breathing.

"You don't tell me what to do. You have a fucking inhaler, use it," Louis growled and touched the cigarette to Harry's arm, leaving it to burn him a bit. "That'll teach you to not tell me what to do again," He added before tossing it onto the floor, stomping on it, and going off to their room.

Harry was left with tears pricking at his eyes and thoughts racing through his head. _"What am I even doing?"_ He asked himself and looked down, a tear streaming down his cheek.


End file.
